When I think of May I always think of two things: Spring and
Mother’s Day. When we finally make it to May First, I always feel like my heart
and soul gives a great long sigh which says, “We made it! It’s finally Spring,
again.” The grass turns a little
greener, the blue, yellow and white iris in my yard make a wonderful and all
too brief showing and the rains come. I
don’t mind spring rain. It seems right somehow washing clean the air and
encouraging everything to grow. I love Spring.
I also love my mom. Her name is
Crystal and although her birthday is at the end
of March, she’s most on my mind in May because of Mother’s day. We honor our
mothers in May and thank them for all they’ve done for us and been to us
throughout our lives. It is a good thing to do. Every day of my life I am aware of
how much my mother impacted my life. When I wake up in the morning one of the
first things I do is raise the shades and open the curtains which is the
morning ritual in my parents’ home to this day. Which ever one is up first,
Momma or Daddy, they let the light in. Daddy always opens the front door as
well while Momma goes through to the family room at the back of the house and
opens that door.
To let the house ‘air out’ she always says.
 |
| Mom, Jo, Dad |
Everyone always says I sounded like my mom on the phone
and in my younger days, the older folks in the family would look at me funny
when I show up at family reunions or other family gatherings. I could see them
frowning, mentally counting the years in their minds so I would go over to
them, smile and say,
‘I’m not Crystal. I’m her oldest girl, Cassandra.” The
frowns would turn into smiles and they would hug me tight and exclaim,
“Baby,
you look just like your momma!” We’d all laugh and I counted it as a compliment
because my mom is very pretty although she’s very petite and I’m much taller
than she is. I understood that I ‘favored’ my mother, but it wasn't until a few
weeks ago when I caught sight of myself in a mirror that I realized that in my
later years, I do look just like my mother did when she was my age. It brought
a lump to my throat and tears to my eye because my mom has developed dementia
over the last few years and even though she’s still with us, it’s limited.
She’s still at home with my dad in Michigan and with the help of my sister Jo, and the support
system of their church and friends, she’s happy and well taken care of.
Because of the dementia and the short term memory loss Mom
and I are not able to have the deep conversations we used to have and I miss
that. Recently, I’ve been having dreams
where she and I are having the conversations that we used to have on the phone.
I see her still strong and healthy and with her full abilities in tact. We
discuss what’s going on in my life and she helps me to work things out. When I
wake from these dreams I always try to call her just so I can hear her voice, maybe make sure that her being still here is not also a dream. It comforts
me.
I’ve also had dreams where Momma reminds of the things that I’m supposed to
be doing. This week I dreamed that I
heard some one in the kitchen and when I went in to check, my mom was just
finishing up washing some dishes I had left in the sink overnight. She good-naturedly fussed at me about how she had taught me
better the proper way to clean up a kitchen and I woke up smiling. I then got
up and went directly to the kitchen to wash up the dishes I had left in the
sink the night before, smiling all the time. I love my mom and in her way, I know she is still keeping track of me and still teaching me.
I give God praise for that.
So Momma, even though you won’t remember, I want
to say, “Happy Mother’s Day and I love you, very, very much.” I wouldn't be who
I am without you and I love and thank you for the woman you've helped me to become.
Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms, Grandmas, PlayMoms, Church Moms, Office Moms - you know who you are! Would love to hear about the Moms in your life and how they helped shape you into the person you are today. Tell us about your Mom.
Joining Friendship Fridays, Caffeinated Randomness and Company Girls Coffee this week.
Come join us by clicking their bloghop buttons on the left side of the screen.
I'm joining with a new community this week called Five Minute Friday
sponsored by Lisa-Jo Baker. On Friday Lisa-Jo posts a one word prompt and
for five minutes even we write what the prompt brings to mind. No
rewrite, nor editing just letting the words flow. Very interesting and a
bit intimidating for us writers but also, I suspect, very freeing. So
with a deep breath and my timer set...today's prompt is Comfort.
